That's the best I can do...
Everything I have done so far. I guess it is part of the learning curve but arriving at the uncomfortable level of conscious incompetence does not feel good. This project has become an excuse for avoiding doing any real work. I have not even finished my 59 self portrait. It does keep me drawing--even if I am cheating my way out with the flatware. It has also caused me to think more about what I expect from myself and which direction I think I would like to go with my art. No answers yet. Just the discomfort.
But I have almost finished 4 months. A third of the way through both this project and my last year of work. Just a few weeks left of the online class I have been taking to earn CEUs--I will be very glad to be done with that. Maybe I will have more time to spend on this project. Less spoons and forks? We'll see. I am finding out something about myself: I have a hard time throwing stuff out. I am not really a pack rat--I am not overrun by stuff--but I also carry the (common?) belief that the minute I throw something out I will need it. Irrational, I know. I would like to be less attached to stuff. I am finding that I am tossing things now that I passed over in January so maybe I am making some headway after all.
Okay. I am becoming a little sick of this. Hence, the 9 spoons. I forgot to buy a sketchbook before last weekend so I really got behind. This started as part of my retirement countdown. I will retire at the end of this year and will be looking to sell my house and move on. This project was just supposed to help reduce the clutter and have some fun. Now it has taken on a life of its own.
Okay--I kind of cheated this week with pulling out the flatware one piece at a time. Laziness overtook me. Will I be able to keep this up? The project is feeling a little onerous and somewhat pointless today...
But I do have service for 16... I realized as I work on this project that there are two distinct moieties--the art and the story.
The art part is unfolding pretty much as I expected. I am doing the drawings and getting into it. I've been experimenting with different media--I picked up a water soluble graphite stick from the clearance table in the bookstore and found I really enjoy working with it. It becomes almost silky when you add water. I also tried working with water soluble colored pencils. Just the forced drawing practice has been a benefit. The story part is a little surprising. I wander around the house to pick out things to draw and discard. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I did some major clean and toss of stuff last year before I thought of this project so a lot of the easy to get rid of stuff is already gone. This forces me to really look at items and think about how much stuff I have accumulated. I did not imagine that this would be the difficult part. Many items that I have around clearly have sentimental value--the photos and memorabilia--but every object has a history. It was purchased or obtained by someone at a particular place or received as a gift or commemorates an important event. So as I select things, I find myself remembering the history of the everyday objects that hold a tiny bit of my own history. It reminds me of all the changes I have made in my life and makes the process just a little bittersweet. I have surprised myself actually. Now I am getting into the second month and I am finding that I am kind of enjoying myself. The hardest part is finding things to include--and letting myself post drawings that sometimes feel pretty crummy. It also feels good to see things being purged.
Hmmm....always starts with a great idea. Then comes the actual work. I have given myself an arbitrary assignment that I now feel bound by. It makes me think of all of the ways that we do that to ourselves--at least that I do to myself. It sometimes feels like everything in life carries equal importance and it is all URGENT!
Okay...so I had this brilliant idea that I could get rid of stuff and work on my drawing skills at the same time with this project. I really did not consider how time consuming this project might turn out to be. I had envisioned that I would do beautiful completed drawings all colored and shaded in a variety of media. Well...as you can see there are some days that I am lucky to find the time and energy to grab a sharpie and make a quick sketch. But that's okay. I still think it will be a fun project.
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December 2012
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